Thursday, February 24, 2011

Rules for dealing with a Pregnant Lady

This is not a knitting related post, and I apologize for that.  But at a mere (almost) 10 weeks, please indulge me.  These really ought to be self-evident, but apparently they are not.

1 - Don't make fun of the pregnant lady, for she is hormonal and you taste good with ketchup.  Honestly, I'm really new to this whole pregnancy thing and there's a lot of stuff that I just don't know.  So just please be nice and don't make fun of me.

2 - On that note, yes, I am in maternity clothes.  My hips sort of widened and went psychotic on me and now even my "fat pants" don't fit me.  I'm getting tired of yoga pants and track pants.  I'm feeling really crummy about my size right now, so please don't laugh at me when you notice I'm wearing maternity clothes.  Besides, I worked hard at getting pregnant.  I'm entitled to be comfortable in my own wardrobe.

3 - Seriously, don't make fun of the pregnant lady.  Or you'll have a CRYING pregnant lady to deal with, and won't that be a barrel of laughs. nice!

4 - I've lost weight.  Regardless, I still feel kinda fat.  Deal with it.  This doesn't mean I'm dieting, it just means my baby is eating all my fat stores.  When I stop losing weight, I plan to stop weighing myself.  My midwife will weigh me monthly, and will not tell me my weight except to make a note if I'm gaining more than what she deems to be a healthy amount.  I was pretty sensitive about my size before getting pregnant.  I don't plan on contributing to my own self-loathing over my fat.

5 - If you want to touch the belly, just ask.  When it's an actual baby belly, I'll let you know.  But don't just randomly grope and squeeze me.  It gives me license to grope and squeeze back, and you might not like that so much.

6 - Remember, I'm a big old pile of hormones and fun right now.  Everything pisses me off and my mood changes at the drop of the hat, so for crying out loud, DON'T MAKE FUN OF THE PREGNANT LADY!!!


  1. Have you had much of #5 yet? Thats one of the things I'm really not looking forward to and I expect some people will loose their heads over it (especially if its a stranger). Zac has joked about having a special shirt made up for me...something similar to that one with the pillsbury dough boy "poke me and die".

  2. Not very much, but there have been a few incidents, since I'm starting to protrude a little. H has threatened to break any strange hand that grabs me. ;) As for me, I figure grope-for-grope. If my belly gets groped, I'll just respond with an equally inappropriate grope and an innocent smile "Oh. I'm sorry. I thought this was the part where we inappropriately molest one another?"

  3. You point me in the direction of those who are making fun.
    I'll straighten them out for you!